Does He Think About Me? A Tarot Spread for When You Can't Stop Wondering

3 AM. You’re lying in bed. Your phone is dark. And the thought won’t stop: Is he thinking about me too? Or am I the only one replaying every conversation?

This is one of the most human experiences there is — wanting to know if you exist in someone’s mind the way they exist in yours. And it’s one of the most common questions I see in tarot readings.

Here’s what I’ll give you: a spread you can do right now, a guide to interpreting what the cards say, and — just as importantly — an honest conversation about what tarot can and can’t tell you about someone else’s thoughts.

First: what tarot can (and can’t) do here

Let’s be upfront. Tarot can’t read someone else’s mind. It can’t tell you exactly what a specific person is thinking at this moment.

What it can do:

• Show you the energetic dynamic between you and this person
• Reflect the emotional patterns at play
• Reveal what your intuition already senses but hasn’t been able to articulate
• Help you understand your own feelings more clearly
• Illuminate what might be blocking connection

Think of it less as mind-reading and more as reading the weather between two people. The cards can tell you if the conditions are warm, cold, stormy, or clear — even if they can’t tell you the exact temperature of his thoughts.

The “What’s Between Us” spread

I designed this spread to address the real question behind “Does he think about me?” — which is usually: What is the energy between us, and what should I do with it?

5 cards, laid out in a row:

Card 1	Card 2	Card 3	Card 4	Card 5
You	Him	The connection	What’s unspoken	Your next step

Position meanings

Card 1: You right now. Your current emotional state regarding this person. This card often reveals something you haven’t admitted to yourself — the depth of your feelings, your fears about the situation, or what you’re projecting onto it.

Card 2: His current energy. Not his exact thoughts — but his general emotional state and where his attention is directed. Is he open? Closed off? Focused elsewhere? Processing something?

Card 3: The connection between you. The energy that exists in the space between you two. Is there a genuine bond? Tension? Unfinished business? This card shows the relationship itself as an entity.

Card 4: What’s unspoken. The thing neither of you has said. The feeling that’s hovering but hasn’t landed. This is often the most revealing card in the spread.

Card 5: Your next step. What you should do. Not what you want to hear — what would actually serve you best right now.

Reading the cards: what suggests he IS thinking about you

Certain cards in specific positions carry strong signals:

In Position 2 (his energy):

• Two of Cups — Strong mutual connection. He feels the bond.
• Knight of Cups — He’s emotionally moved, possibly considering reaching out.
• The Lovers — A genuine, meaningful connection occupies his thoughts.
• Ace of Cups — New emotional feelings are opening in him.
• Six of Cups — He’s feeling nostalgic about your shared moments.
• The Star — He sees you as something hopeful and inspiring.

In Position 3 (the connection):

• Two of Cups — The bond is real and reciprocal.
• Temperance — The connection is balanced and naturally harmonious.
• The Sun — Joy, warmth, and genuine positive energy between you.
• Ten of Cups — Deep emotional fulfillment potential.

In Position 4 (what’s unspoken):

• Ace of Cups — Feelings that haven’t been expressed yet.
• The Moon — Fear or confusion is keeping feelings hidden.
• Page of Cups — A message of affection that hasn’t been sent.
• Knight of Cups — Someone wants to make a romantic gesture but hasn’t.

What suggests he’s NOT focused on you right now

This is harder to hear, but it’s important:

In Position 2:

• Eight of Cups — He’s emotionally walking away or processing something else.
• The Hermit — He’s turned inward; this isn’t about you.
• Four of Swords — He’s resting or recovering; connection isn’t on his radar.
• Seven of Pentacles — His attention is on work, goals, or personal growth.
• Five of Swords — Conflict energy; he may feel hurt or guarded.

This doesn’t mean it’s over. It means right now, his energy isn’t directed toward you. People’s focus shifts. A Hermit in Position 2 today doesn’t prevent a Knight of Cups from arriving next week.

The card that changes everything: Position 5

Position 5 — your next step — is the most important card in this spread. Because regardless of what he’s thinking, you still have choices.

If Position 5 is:

• The Empress — Focus on yourself. Self-care, self-love, cultivating your own joy. Let your magnetism do the work.
• The Chariot — Take action. Reach out. Make your move.
• Strength — Be patient. Stay confident. The situation needs gentle courage, not force.
• The Hermit — Step back. Focus inward. The answer isn’t in his mind — it’s in yours.
• Two of Cups — Connection is mutual. Open a conversation.
• Eight of Cups — Walk away. This isn’t what you need right now.
• The Star — Have faith. Things are aligning even if you can’t see it yet.
• The Tower — Something needs to break before it can build. Be ready for a shift.

A harder conversation

If you’re doing this spread repeatedly — every day, or every time you feel anxious — the spread itself might be telling you something.

Reaching for tarot every time you wonder if someone is thinking about you can become a way to avoid the scarier options: asking them directly, accepting uncertainty, or acknowledging that you might want this more than they do.

Tarot is a tool for insight, not a substitute for communication. If you want to know what he’s thinking, the bravest and most accurate method is still: ask him.

But I also know that’s not always possible. Sometimes the relationship hasn’t gotten there yet. Sometimes you’re in that agonizing early stage where asking feels like too much. Sometimes the relationship has ended and asking isn’t an option.

For those moments, this spread gives you something valuable: clarity about the energy between you, and — most importantly — clarity about what you should do next.

Try it tonight

When it’s quiet. When the wondering is loudest.

Shuffle with his face in your mind. Lay five cards. Read them honestly — not searching for what you want to see, but accepting what’s actually there.

The most powerful thing this spread can give you isn’t an answer about him. It’s an answer about you: what you want, what you need, and what you’re going to do about it.

That’s always been the real question.